M-A-D Prison Ministry

Respectful Relativity

 

Since the definitions of respect and disrespect are personal, I’ll share a personal example for you to chew on.

 

I think it’s wrong to forcibly impregnate, to cage, and to slaughter animals. So if someone supports this system, such as by buying animal products in restaurants or grocery stores, then they’re automatically disrespecting my beliefs. Note that I don’t feel the same about people who would hunt animals for food to survive in the wild. While I wouldn’t do that myself, I don’t automatically consider such people as being disrespectful towards my beliefs or disrespectful towards animals. But to support modern factory farming, there’s no way around it — that’s about as disrespectful as a person can get. It’s disrespectful towards animals. It’s disrespectful towards the environment. And it’s personally disrespectful towards my beliefs. Such behavior goes pretty far beyond being impolite and discourteous.

When a meat eater tells me they respect my beliefs, from their perspective they may also be right. They may require nothing more to satisfy that definition than to observe that I’m a vegan, which is pretty easy to do. But at the same time, they also qualify for my definition of disrespect.

If someone who enjoys killing people’s pets decides to refrain from killing any pets in front of you as a show of respect for your beliefs, would you give such a person credit for their politeness and courtesy? Maybe you would… I dunno. I’d be more concerned with what they’re doing to the pets — relative to that, it’s inconsequential whether or not they’re committing such violent acts in my presence.

Now would a meat eater determine that what I just shared is a sign of disrespect towards them? That depends on the person. I’m sure many would find me disrespectful. They may determine that I’m not behaving as they believe I should behave. Perhaps in their views, I’m not allowed to say that I consider supporting factory farming a show of disrespect towards my beliefs. How could I say something like that? It not only impolite and discourteous… it’s downright rude!

Then again, I’m sharing my honest thoughts and feelings on my own website and social media pages. I don’t go posting this anywhere else, although other people are free to reshare it. It’s not like I’m chasing anyone down and pushing these ideas onto them. People have to seek me out and choose to engage with me. The meat eaters who might take issue with this are always coming to me.

I see honesty as one of the highest forms of respect. I feel that I’m respecting people far more by being as honest and open as I can as I share my path of personal growth. I think it would be disrespectful to pretend to be someone I’m not, to present a false image of myself even if it’s more socially acceptable.

Can I still respect someone that I feel is disrespectful of my beliefs? I don’t see why not. I have too many readers to expect all of them to respect my beliefs. I think it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to adhere to my ethical standards. That said, I feel it would be quite phony to pretend that I feel my beliefs are being respected by those who think it’s fine to support the rape, confinement, and slaughter of animals. What does it matter if they’re doing it in front of me or not?

Is it automatically a show of disrespect to tell someone that you feel disrespected by them? I don’t think so. I think it can actually be a powerful show of respect to do this. I don’t feel my meat eating friends show any respect for my beliefs when they willingly support of a system that is so incredibly unethical, corrupt, and harmful in my view. I don’t feel I’m being at all disrespectful towards them in saying that. In fact, I believe I’m being very respectful. I honor them enough to share my truth with them.

And again, this isn’t forced upon anyone. I share this only with those who willingly choose to engage with my work. I don’t chase anyone down and push these ideas onto them. I’m not a hunter.

I know that many meat eaters consider it a show of respect to tone down their flesh consumption in the presence of vegetarians or vegans. I’m sure some veg*ans appreciate that. Personally it makes little difference to me in terms of feeling respected — it’s a drop in the bucket if I know they’ll go right on supporting factory farming when I’m not around. I’d actually consider it more honest if they didn’t make such adjustments on my behalf. If they genuinely feel like sharing a vegan meal together, great. But if they’d rather have animal products and are toning down the carnivore behavior because they want to be respectful of my beliefs, I don’t actually give them any meaningful credit for that. It doesn’t make me feel any more respected.

That said, I do actually prefer it when meat eaters don’t eat flesh in front of me, but that’s because I find the sight and smell of rotting flesh kinda disgusting — especially the smell of dead fish. So I will give them some courtesy credit for not nauseating me.

What does respect mean to you? What would you consider disrespectful? Do you believe that telling someone you feel disrespected is necessarily a show of disrespect? Or could such honesty be a deeper show of respect, perhaps even an invitation to connect on a whole new level?

You, of course, have the freedom to make your own determinations about which behaviors you consider to be respectful vs. disrespectful. And whatever you decide, you’re right.